Jenny - along for the ride

I have this friend. Well, we're not really friends, perhaps more aquaintances would be a more accurate description of our relationship. Jenny comes in and out of my life. Sometimes she sticks around for a long time, with me for every bump in the road, every celebration, every waking moment, she's there. At other times, I won't see her for an extended period. She just goes. I don't know where. I can't say I'm unhappy when she's not with me but, at the same time, sometimes she is a big part of my life.

I've called her Jenny, Jen for short, after that annoying, chubby, red head girl on "Winners and Losers" who no one ever really seems to want around but she doesn't get it and clings on anyway. I get the feeling that some of the other characters keep her around for old times sake. It's easier to keep her around rather than go through the trauma of cutting ties and parting ways. I feel exactly the same way about my Jenny.

Except my Jenny isn't actually a person. She's a part of me. She's that flabby, subcutaneous layer of fat that resides between my skin and my abdominal wall.

Piss off Jenny, I hate you.

Needless to say, Jen's not invited to the Engagement Party.

Fiance doesn't like to acknowledge Jen's presence at all. Even when she's staring him right in the face, he pretends he can't see her. I know he can. He also doesn't like the fact that we've named her. Maybe that's because in his mind, she doesn't exist. Or maybe, in his mind, I'm not crazy. Perception is reality people. But my reality is Jenny is real and the time has now come again for her to pack her ugly little suitcase and catch the triglyceride train to burn town.

I'm sure I'm not the only one with a Jenny problem at the moment. I ran into another bride to be at the weekend who is already on a diet in prep for her Engagey. I, myself, recently bought a dress for my Engagey online, always a risk when you're unsure of the sizing and fit. And they only had the one size left. I got it delievered to work yesterday. It sat under my desk all day long, waited for me in the car while I was at the gym with Jenny, and then sat in my bedroom through dinner. I purposely waited until after dinner so I could enjoy what could have well may been my last real meal for sometime.

The moment of truth had arrived. Jenny and I apprehensively pulled on the dress. We all know that moment when the zip goes up, up, up and.........hope upon hope......closes. Phew. It fits. Jenny seems content. I'm happy. We have work to do but it's not a disaster.

Shedding for the wedding seems to be a common activity for brides in the lead up to their big day. So much so that there are now special "bridal boot camps" devised just in case you hadn't been tricked out of all of your money by everyone else in the world yet. If boot camp fails, there's always the cabbage soup diet, the lemon detox diet and a myriad of other high risk, low effectiveness ways in which you can rid yourself of your hard earned.

Jenny and I prefer the gym. And if your own Wedding can't motivate you to get your caboose on that treadmill / spin bike / step / yoga mat, then at least you will have a friend/aquaintance for life.