Oh sorry, did I say detail. I meant retail. It's all in the retail. The retail detail. I refer, of course, to now famous Engagey and my so far rampaging spending frenzy. It's been fun so far. Some have chortled at my pre planning (it has been in a conceptualisation phase for some 2,064 hours) but it pays to be organised. Especially when you are ordering goods from Thailand, China and, of course, IKEA. And I have encountered a number of stuff ups which have given me grounds to be proud of my organisation. You must always factor in time to account for the stuff ups of others.
First it was cushion inserts from IKEA. Not feeling strong enough to make the trip to the store, I thought I would be smart and order online. Website shows 29 items available. Great, I'll take 20. I'll also take 8 stools, 8 chair pads, and a shit load of floating candles. Done. Now you would think the retail centre of the earth could sort their postage/online retail environment out. No, they have to call you back once they have calculated the specific postage amount, ask if you still want to go ahead and then take payment over the phone! Over the phone! pffft.
Once that little ordeal is finished with, I move onto sourcing cushion covers. This involves a trip to Spotlight, Big W, Lincraft to find the most cost effective way to get these suckers organised. MOB had resigned herself to the fact that her office would be turned into a sweatshop for a weekend while she toiled away cutting, sewing and stitching 24 cushion covers in three different colours yet to be determined. As my sewing skills show no further advancement past sewing on a button (and poorly at that), the only skill I could bring to the table/sweatshop was drinking and entertainment. "I'll bring wine!", I promised poor MOB.
In the meantime, IKEA calls back, they only have 1 cushion in stock in Perth. I can get them from Adelaide or I can wait. Finally, Adelaide becomes a relevant and useful place to me. If nothing else, at least I - all of us - can take that away from this experience.
Yeah, Engagey has been well out of hand for some time now. People think house party and think - easy. Well, i guess it could be. Depending on how fabulous you wanted it to look. Think a few drink tubs and some party pies and sausage rolls - not that fabulous. Think cushion covers and stools, floating candles, solar hanging chinese lanterns, potted herbs in tin cans, punch, sangria, a cocktail on arrival, a new outdoor setting, a busy bee to prune roses and other shrubs, a homemade hanging system displaying photos, a menu of amazing homemade canapes', 30,000 candles, 30,000 jars for candles - getting slightly more fabulous. OK, so i didnt end up getting the outdoor setting and I held off on organising the Michael Buble and Norah Jones tribute duet. Yes, win for me.
Cushion covers arrived from Thailand last week, they took about 20 days to get here as they had to go through customs. Problem, only 15 out of 24 had made it. Uh oh. Won't panic have time. Stop and remind myself that they are cushions. But they are the orange ones that are missing and out of the three colours, I really wanted the orange. Oh well. Just before I started this post, another box arrives at reception. I have had everything delivered to work. There isn't too many days that go at the moment by that a parcel/package/box doesnt arrive for me. Our receptionist walks the box to my desk, dumps it and sneers "another dress?". No actually, its my M.I.A cushions covers! I've just opened the box. They are red. Not orangey red. FFS.
Perhaps it's destiny, the universe is speaking to me here. The orange lanterns I wanted from IKEA weren't in stock either. And the outdoor setting I found on Gumtree with the orange cushions was sold right out from under me. I'm thinking orange is out. So what exactly in universe not liking about orange? Let's find out what it could be.
Orange is a power color. It is one of the healing colors. It is said to increase the craving for food. (this could be it - universe knows about jenny). It also stimulates enthusiasm and creativity. Orange means vitality with endurance. People who like orange are usually thoughtful and sincere. Lady luck's color is orange. (This could be it also, Lady Luck and I both wore orange to an event once and haven't seen eye to eye since) I have been told that if a change of any kind is need in life, just burn an orange candle for 7 nights.
Orange Energy
While red is associated with fiery heat, orange is associated with the benign warmth of the sun. A dynamic color to be sure, orange offers a more thoughtful control than explosive red. Curiosity is a driving characteristic of orange, and with it comes exploration of new things.
Put some orange in your life when you want:
- to spice things up when you feel time is dragging
- to become more involved in something
- to increase creativity
- relief from things becoming too serious
(source: http://crystal-cure.com/orange.html)
Red on the other hand:
Red is the warmest of all colors. Red is the color most chosen by extroverts and one of the top picks of males. On the negative side red can mean temper or anger. In China, red is the color of prosperity and joy. Brides wear red and front doors are often painted red. Red is Tuesday's color. Red roses symbolize passionate love. Ruby rings should be worn on the left hand. Red is the color of Mars. This planet is known as the God of War.
Red Energy
Red is associated with fiery heat and warmth. It can also mean danger (burning).
Red is the color of blood, and as such has strong symbolism as life and vitality. It brings focus to the essence of life and living with emphasis on survival. Red is also the color of passion and lust.
Put some red in your life when you want:
- increased enthusiasm and interest
- more energy
- action and confidence to go after your dreams
- protection from fears and anxieties
Red wins. Defo. Thanks universe.
Anyway, I think my rampaging spending spree is petering out. Recent and ongoing purchases are much more considered and rational. Ok well I'm getting there. At the weekend I took a visit to Bunnings (the other retail centre of the universe) in search of standing ice buckets and any other inspiration I could find. I did two laps with a basket, picked up some gardening gloves, went back for a trolley, 2 more laps. Found some standing ice buckets for $50 a piece. Put two in the trolley, walked up and down the aisle 10 more times, removed ice buckets from trolley, found myself wandering aimlessly through the nursery, had a quick chat to myself, and proceeded to the checkout with my trolley and my $1.95 gardening gloves. The sales assistant looked at me quizzingly "Is that it?" he says glancing down at my pink cotton glove purchase. I think I'd walked past him at least two or three times whilst doing bog laps of the store. He knew I was after something else and seemed determined not to let me out of the store without spending at least $100. Maybe thats a store policy. I don't know I don't think I've ever left Bunnings without spending at least that much. "Yes?" I replied. Yes, this is all I need. I'm cured. I'm done. Deco's are for the most part taken care of! For now. Nearly.
Disclaimer: Engagey guests may not actually receive a cocktail on arrival.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Jenny - along for the ride
I have this friend. Well, we're not really friends, perhaps more aquaintances would be a more accurate description of our relationship. Jenny comes in and out of my life. Sometimes she sticks around for a long time, with me for every bump in the road, every celebration, every waking moment, she's there. At other times, I won't see her for an extended period. She just goes. I don't know where. I can't say I'm unhappy when she's not with me but, at the same time, sometimes she is a big part of my life.
I've called her Jenny, Jen for short, after that annoying, chubby, red head girl on "Winners and Losers" who no one ever really seems to want around but she doesn't get it and clings on anyway. I get the feeling that some of the other characters keep her around for old times sake. It's easier to keep her around rather than go through the trauma of cutting ties and parting ways. I feel exactly the same way about my Jenny.
Except my Jenny isn't actually a person. She's a part of me. She's that flabby, subcutaneous layer of fat that resides between my skin and my abdominal wall.
Piss off Jenny, I hate you.
Needless to say, Jen's not invited to the Engagement Party.
Fiance doesn't like to acknowledge Jen's presence at all. Even when she's staring him right in the face, he pretends he can't see her. I know he can. He also doesn't like the fact that we've named her. Maybe that's because in his mind, she doesn't exist. Or maybe, in his mind, I'm not crazy. Perception is reality people. But my reality is Jenny is real and the time has now come again for her to pack her ugly little suitcase and catch the triglyceride train to burn town.
I'm sure I'm not the only one with a Jenny problem at the moment. I ran into another bride to be at the weekend who is already on a diet in prep for her Engagey. I, myself, recently bought a dress for my Engagey online, always a risk when you're unsure of the sizing and fit. And they only had the one size left. I got it delievered to work yesterday. It sat under my desk all day long, waited for me in the car while I was at the gym with Jenny, and then sat in my bedroom through dinner. I purposely waited until after dinner so I could enjoy what could have well may been my last real meal for sometime.
The moment of truth had arrived. Jenny and I apprehensively pulled on the dress. We all know that moment when the zip goes up, up, up and.........hope upon hope......closes. Phew. It fits. Jenny seems content. I'm happy. We have work to do but it's not a disaster.
Shedding for the wedding seems to be a common activity for brides in the lead up to their big day. So much so that there are now special "bridal boot camps" devised just in case you hadn't been tricked out of all of your money by everyone else in the world yet. If boot camp fails, there's always the cabbage soup diet, the lemon detox diet and a myriad of other high risk, low effectiveness ways in which you can rid yourself of your hard earned.
Jenny and I prefer the gym. And if your own Wedding can't motivate you to get your caboose on that treadmill / spin bike / step / yoga mat, then at least you will have a friend/aquaintance for life.
I've called her Jenny, Jen for short, after that annoying, chubby, red head girl on "Winners and Losers" who no one ever really seems to want around but she doesn't get it and clings on anyway. I get the feeling that some of the other characters keep her around for old times sake. It's easier to keep her around rather than go through the trauma of cutting ties and parting ways. I feel exactly the same way about my Jenny.
Except my Jenny isn't actually a person. She's a part of me. She's that flabby, subcutaneous layer of fat that resides between my skin and my abdominal wall.
Piss off Jenny, I hate you.
Needless to say, Jen's not invited to the Engagement Party.
Fiance doesn't like to acknowledge Jen's presence at all. Even when she's staring him right in the face, he pretends he can't see her. I know he can. He also doesn't like the fact that we've named her. Maybe that's because in his mind, she doesn't exist. Or maybe, in his mind, I'm not crazy. Perception is reality people. But my reality is Jenny is real and the time has now come again for her to pack her ugly little suitcase and catch the triglyceride train to burn town.
I'm sure I'm not the only one with a Jenny problem at the moment. I ran into another bride to be at the weekend who is already on a diet in prep for her Engagey. I, myself, recently bought a dress for my Engagey online, always a risk when you're unsure of the sizing and fit. And they only had the one size left. I got it delievered to work yesterday. It sat under my desk all day long, waited for me in the car while I was at the gym with Jenny, and then sat in my bedroom through dinner. I purposely waited until after dinner so I could enjoy what could have well may been my last real meal for sometime.
The moment of truth had arrived. Jenny and I apprehensively pulled on the dress. We all know that moment when the zip goes up, up, up and.........hope upon hope......closes. Phew. It fits. Jenny seems content. I'm happy. We have work to do but it's not a disaster.
Shedding for the wedding seems to be a common activity for brides in the lead up to their big day. So much so that there are now special "bridal boot camps" devised just in case you hadn't been tricked out of all of your money by everyone else in the world yet. If boot camp fails, there's always the cabbage soup diet, the lemon detox diet and a myriad of other high risk, low effectiveness ways in which you can rid yourself of your hard earned.
Jenny and I prefer the gym. And if your own Wedding can't motivate you to get your caboose on that treadmill / spin bike / step / yoga mat, then at least you will have a friend/aquaintance for life.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Rules of Engagement
Rules of engagement: In military or police operations, the rules of engagement (ROE) determine when, where, and how force shall be used. Such rules are both general and specific, and there have been large variations between cultures throughout history. The rules may be made public, as in a martial law or curfew situation, but are typically only fully known to the force that intends to use them. The ROE should comply with the generally accepted martial law. (Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
Rules of Engagement: A sitcom, starring David Spade, that debuted on CBS in 2007. Produced by Adam Sandler's Happy Madison Productions in association with CBS TV and Sony. Now in its 6th season.
Rules of actual engagement? There aren't any that I'm aware of.
Seriously, someone needs to come up with some real life rules of engagement that we can integrate into the day to day life of being engaged. We used to have tradition to lean on to give us a loose framework of how things should run. Since tradition went out the window, along with good manners, good morals, and the ability to merge in peak hour traffic and effectively use roundabouts correctly, we're all flying a bit blind. The intergenerationalism and multiculturalism that (i assume) are features of most weddings, mean that we are dealing with a whole variety of perceptions and interpretations of tradition and varying levels of attachment to this tradition.
OK, so as tradition has taken a backseat over the years (or so people would like to think) it is still very much at the heart of the whole idea of marriage. And it's not a bad thing people! Tradition is not a dirty word. As much as sometimes we dont like to admit it we, as humans, need rules. At least a loose bundle of the social fabric that allows us to interact on a daily basis. In the context of a wedding, its that foundation that the rest can be built on. The pizza base before all the toppings go on, the most essential part that if its not there, you dont have a pizza at all, you just have some tomato sauce and a bit of cheese really.
At the moment, I would say we are just in the process of understanding the recipe for the best dough in order to make ourselves the best base. As previously mentioned, I've already got a couple of toppings set aside ready to go, no cheese.
But i digress. The rules of engagement? where are they? I refer mostly to this engagement party caper which we are in the midst of planning.
Being engaged for some weeks now, a common comment of any wedding /engagement talk is, "who cares what anyone else thinks - its all about the two of you." This is simply not true. OK, so the nitty gritty of betrothal IS about us, but, in my limited experience, it's about balance, trying to keep everyone happy, and graciously accepting advice no matter how misdirected it may be! Its as if, getting engaged opens the flood gates to friends, acquaintences and absolute strangers alike to make outrageous suggestions of what, how, where, when and why. A colleague of Fiances (one I've never met or heard of) just the other day took it upon herself to suggest a song that should definitely be played at our reception, because she likes it and thinks it is a very nice song to be played at a wedding. Instances like this are now not uncommon.
I must point out at this time, that I have become a little (fiercely) protective of Wedding. It's ours and you can't touch it. However, we will share it with a select few.
Apologies for the incoherent and disjointed rambling today. I must explain myself and the reason for this particular post.
Engagement Party has arrived on the scene. We'll call it Engagey for short. Engagey is at this point not causing me to lose sleep, but is has been a bit of a chameleon. At this point, I'm a bit in love with Engagey as it exists in my head. How that is translating into real life is another story. But for the most part it's fun, exciting and
Engagegy is like Weddings little sister, the crazy, carefree one that is a bit of a basketcase but in an affable, easy going way. Wedding is a little more serious and uptight. Wedding could take a leaf from Engagey and vice versa. You can tell they are related but they are both distinctively different.
Apparently, it's not true Engagement etiquette to throw a party but according to "The A-Z of manners and etiquette" there are a few "important" engagement party rules and guidelines to follow including but not limited to:
Rules of Engagement: A sitcom, starring David Spade, that debuted on CBS in 2007. Produced by Adam Sandler's Happy Madison Productions in association with CBS TV and Sony. Now in its 6th season.
Rules of actual engagement? There aren't any that I'm aware of.
Seriously, someone needs to come up with some real life rules of engagement that we can integrate into the day to day life of being engaged. We used to have tradition to lean on to give us a loose framework of how things should run. Since tradition went out the window, along with good manners, good morals, and the ability to merge in peak hour traffic and effectively use roundabouts correctly, we're all flying a bit blind. The intergenerationalism and multiculturalism that (i assume) are features of most weddings, mean that we are dealing with a whole variety of perceptions and interpretations of tradition and varying levels of attachment to this tradition.
OK, so as tradition has taken a backseat over the years (or so people would like to think) it is still very much at the heart of the whole idea of marriage. And it's not a bad thing people! Tradition is not a dirty word. As much as sometimes we dont like to admit it we, as humans, need rules. At least a loose bundle of the social fabric that allows us to interact on a daily basis. In the context of a wedding, its that foundation that the rest can be built on. The pizza base before all the toppings go on, the most essential part that if its not there, you dont have a pizza at all, you just have some tomato sauce and a bit of cheese really.
At the moment, I would say we are just in the process of understanding the recipe for the best dough in order to make ourselves the best base. As previously mentioned, I've already got a couple of toppings set aside ready to go, no cheese.
But i digress. The rules of engagement? where are they? I refer mostly to this engagement party caper which we are in the midst of planning.
Being engaged for some weeks now, a common comment of any wedding /engagement talk is, "who cares what anyone else thinks - its all about the two of you." This is simply not true. OK, so the nitty gritty of betrothal IS about us, but, in my limited experience, it's about balance, trying to keep everyone happy, and graciously accepting advice no matter how misdirected it may be! Its as if, getting engaged opens the flood gates to friends, acquaintences and absolute strangers alike to make outrageous suggestions of what, how, where, when and why. A colleague of Fiances (one I've never met or heard of) just the other day took it upon herself to suggest a song that should definitely be played at our reception, because she likes it and thinks it is a very nice song to be played at a wedding. Instances like this are now not uncommon.
I must point out at this time, that I have become a little (fiercely) protective of Wedding. It's ours and you can't touch it. However, we will share it with a select few.
Apologies for the incoherent and disjointed rambling today. I must explain myself and the reason for this particular post.
Engagement Party has arrived on the scene. We'll call it Engagey for short. Engagey is at this point not causing me to lose sleep, but is has been a bit of a chameleon. At this point, I'm a bit in love with Engagey as it exists in my head. How that is translating into real life is another story. But for the most part it's fun, exciting and
Engagegy is like Weddings little sister, the crazy, carefree one that is a bit of a basketcase but in an affable, easy going way. Wedding is a little more serious and uptight. Wedding could take a leaf from Engagey and vice versa. You can tell they are related but they are both distinctively different.
Apparently, it's not true Engagement etiquette to throw a party but according to "The A-Z of manners and etiquette" there are a few "important" engagement party rules and guidelines to follow including but not limited to:
1. No one should be invited to the engagement party that is not invited to the wedding. - Uh oh. Our Engageys first faux pas. Fiance we have a problem, there is no way we can have 3 soccer teams at Wedding. We are more than likely not abiding by this one - not a good start. More so, Engagey is a good way for guests to lavish gifts upon us and impress us with their cordiality. There is still time for them to fight it out for a spot in the top 80 or so for Wedding.
2. Guests are not expected to bring gifts to an engagement party, but if they do, open them in private or after the party. Don't forget to send thank you notes. Oh yes, by all means they are not expected to bring gifts, but it WILL help secure a place in the aforementioned top 80. And if we dont like the unexpected gift, no one will know cos we'll open it in private and each mark down a score out of 10 which will be considered as a part of a total score for the evening.
3. The bride's father is the first to invite the guests to raise their glass in honor of the bride-and-groom-to-be. The guests will drink a toast to the happy couple. The couple do not drink at this time. - Sweet baby jesus. I'm actually reading these for the first time just now. Looks like we're going to need a comprehensive set of notes to know when and where and under what circumstances we are able to sip our drinks. Sounds like fun.
The groom-to-be says a few words, then offers a toast to honor his bride-to-be and her family.
After his short speech, other guests may propose toasts to the couple and their parents.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Traditionally, the parents of the bride host the engagement party, but there aren't hard and fast rules.
Alternatively, the bride and groom can host it themselves, or a friend or other family member can undertake the hosting duties.
It is not good engagement party etiquette to ask your bestman or matron of honor to host the engagement as they will have other parties to host, don't forget the Bridal Shower and the Bachelor Party. - oh yeah, we won't be forgetting thoooooooosssseee.
6. The style and size of the party depends on your budget and what you prefer. It can be a formal affair with printed invitations and reply cards, a casual backyard barbecue, or anything in between.
Typically, engagement parties are a cocktail event or casual in nature since you want the happy couple to be able to mix and mingle throughout the evening with family and/or friends.
7. For those with especially long engagements, engagement parties are held one to three months after the engagement, and/or about a year before the wedding.
For others it can be held any time more than six months before the wedding.
Well, i asked for it! Geesh. Looks like there are some rules in place. There is no reason you should feel obliged to have a party to celebrate your engagement. its not a requirement, but if you do choose to do so, there are an extensive set of guidelines and etiquette that come along with it. Now is anyone else as confused as me?
Bugger it, screw you etiquette, its all about us anyway.
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