So it appears that Fiance and I have now entered something known to those in the bridal business as the Wedding time vortex. This scenario applies really only to those bride and grooms to be who had previously entered a voluntary state of wedding hibernation. The down time has been nice. There was a period there – albeit brief, where we just got to sit back and bask in the highly organised, not to mention sweet, loving glory of engagement. That time is now is a distant memory, as we transition into the “holy shit where did the time go” phase.
The “holy shit where did the time go” or HSWDTTG phase is not something that comes in peace. It is like a version of some kind of commando personal trainer who yells a lot. I don’t like people yelling at me. It alarms and disarms me. In saying that, HSWDTTG did kind of creep up on me, but in an obvious way if that makes sense. Looking back, the best way for me to describe it, would be reminiscent of playing hide and seek with my niece and nephew. After I count to ten, twice, he goes to hide but usually in the same place that I had hid previously or in an alternative but still fairly visible hiding place. Although I can pretty much see him straight away, I pretend not to for a while, until my niece comes bouncing alongside me nearly bursting at the seams with excitement, frustrated with my inability to see the obvious nephew, if I ever ask “where could he be??” she usually tells me. Straight out. Like “Where is Oscar? I can’t see him anywhere!” Izzy: “He’s over there!”
It’s sort of been the same with wedding. Although most people I have spoken to over the last few months have done the obligatory check in with the wedding plans, it has never been in an invasive manner or enough to jolt me out of my wedding slumber and into motion again. It goes like this, them: “How are the wedding plans going?” Me: “Good.” And we move on to other things. And it’s been like that in my mind too. I think of something or see something, acknowledge it, and then put it away on the wedding shelf in my mind. Well, I think the shelf got full, or something was put on awkwardly, because a couple of weeks ago, everything came spilling out and down and now it’s really all in a bit of a mess.
I can’t recall the single moment that set everything (back) in motion but everything sort of started to happen at once. Correspondence with the Celebrant, booking a hair trial, starting to think about invitations and then the kicker, ordering the invitations. Well, for someone to print details on your invitation, you kind of need to know them. Of course, we knew the venue and the time and the date. We also have a bus booked. But it was the small things like wishing well v gift registry and rsvp collection and self addressed stamped envelopes that really got things moving. Now my personality tends to be a little bit on the addictive side at the best of times, add to that a good portion of easily distracted and well, that’s me in a nutshell. A very crowded, dizzy, creative space that lacks cohesion at times but seems to have a nice, hard exterior that keeps it altogether. So I’m the nut. I’m probably most like a walnut. Pretty tough shell to get through, weird looking on the inside with all these different chambers that all branch off in different directions.
Anyway, so I get set about finding a Gift Registry. Although we have lived together for pretty much the entire duration of our relationship, give or take a few weeks at the start and then a couple of days in between that were complete torture (sorry MOB), we seem to find ourselves quite the traditionalists when it comes to gift giving. It’s a precarious little issue. Some people can be offended to be asked for money, but some people prefer it. So we’ve toed the line on this one. It stems from that feeling of giving gifts ourselves. Everyone is different and you want to feel comfortable and happy with the process of giving a gift, should you, of course, choose to give one at all!
Oh god, how could I forget? That in between all this craziness, a honeymoon was being planned, booked and partially paid for!! That, my friends, is a whole other story in itself but got pretty stressful and unbelievable there for a short time. One word of advice to those thinking of booking a European Ski Holiday Adventure/Honeymoon – Get. In. Early. And start saving. Now.
And with that, I got sucked up into a big, fat wedding cloud. Invitations got ordered without any major hiccups besides a fat looking letter ‘B’ and a similarly strange looking ‘D’. Made two variations to the offending B and D and then settled on the first option.
Spent two, ok maybe three, days browsing through some amazing gifts on the registry. Decided that most of our guests wouldn’t be too keen on gifting us a $700 luxury quilt set. Spent another two days choosing more appropriate gifts. Looked at some shoes for bridesmaids. Got distracted by the Tiffany’s website to find gifts for bridesmaids. Decided that they would be ok with me not buying them a $5000 bracelet. I had my first go at delegating something! It worked well and I thought I might try it again down the track. Looked at more shoes. Bought some paper for rsvp cards. Changed my mind about it in the car on the way home. Had an amazing idea for place cards. Started designing place cards. Changed my mind about them the next day. Remembered we haven’t organised wedding rings yet. Re-tiled our bathroom. Looked at more shoes. Filled out our Notice of Intention to Marry. Found some really lovely ideas for vows. Put ticks on a page next to order of ceremony. Spoke to the bus people about pick up locations. Got freaked out about jewellery. Got over it. Shoes. Emailed the florist. She didn’t respond within two days. Followed up florist. She responded. Decided florist is amazing. Grouted the bathroom. Rang wedding dress people to make sure sample dress would be around at the time of the measurements fitting. Started to freak out that my dress hasn’t even been started yet. Got over it. Got introduced to someone as “getting married soon”. They asked when. I told them. They said “oh wow, that is soon.” Ordered a hair accessory.
Yep, it is soon. It seems like there is still a lot to do, but to be honest, If my main concern is shoes, then we are doing ok. Things will start to fall into place in their natural order and I know I can do it all without an Excel spreadsheet telling me what and when. I’m very proud of that.
